


The Dark Side of Life

by Hells_Storm



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Drugs, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 11:21:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21409360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hells_Storm/pseuds/Hells_Storm
Summary: This is my life. My thoughts. My reality. My hell. Whatever you wanna call it, this is me.And I hurt.TWs include: suicide, self harm, drugs, rape, depression.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	The Dark Side of Life

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be a chapter all about my depression. I wouldn't recommend reading if you are easily triggered by this stuff.

it's truly kinda funny that the only reason I'm alive is fear and luck. Funny and sad, just like life itself. All my past attempts to rid myself of this hell have failed, which doesn't surprise me anymore, after all I AM a failure at everything. Couldn't even die right. So instead of trying again, not out of fear of dying but in fear of failing again and disappointing everyone around me, I'm sleeping. And writing this. I stay at home and wallow in my "teenage angst".

Honestly, I have a good life. I know I do. I'm more privileged than most people my age. Logically, I know all of this. I know I could have had it way worse, but that doesn't help me anymore. Knowledge can only bring you so far and I've already hit my limit of how far I can go with it. At least, emotionally I have. It's up to me to get myself the rest of the way, but that's extremely hard to do when I spent all my energy just trying to get out of bet this morning.

it's so much easier to reach out for an instant relief than to reach out for long term help. It's so much easier to destroy myself for the temporary releases I find in blades or pills than go out and find help for the long run. At least with those I can feel something immediately. Something other than exhaustion and crippling emptiness. I can't even say it's apathy, it's just like there's a gaping hole of darkness in my chest that opens up more and more.

I'll joke about this so much, I'll make others laugh at my misery, but they don't know. They don't know when I laugh and say "don't be like me", "I suck", "it only goes downhill from there", they don't know its actually a desperate fucking cry. I don't want anyone to suffer like me. Maybe I'm subconsciously trying to warn them while not making them feel bad for me? I don't even know at this point. They don't need to feel bad for me until I actually go through with what I know this path is leading me to.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
